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Facilitators:
Scott
Longwell
Reid Mihalko
Taber Shadburne
Review
Embodied Community Day
by Gigi of Mill Valley
http://braindancing.blogspot.com/2006_12_01_archive.html
Yesterday I spent the day at the "Embodied
Community Day." I know that sounds (groan) sooooo Californian.
The invitation promised: a day that is "fun, juicy, inexpensive and open
to everyone who'd like to find out what’s possible when grounded,
empowered, open-hearted people come together." There would be an "enliven
your body playshop, where we would learn new ways to express your essence
through movement, dance, yoga and touch and deepen our emotional
connections. Then an Empowered Intimacy workshop led by Scott Longwell
promising "new skills and new ways of being that will enable you to be
connected, free, and empowered in romantic relationships, at work, and in
Community." All capped off with an Intimacy Lounge of "Sultry Dance
and Sacred Chilling."
I was introduced to this group a week ago when I attended one WholeBody
Wisdom's free David Deida video
screenings. It was an interesting concept -- workshop leader Scott
screened the Deida film to the group and then lead exercises from the
video, or exercises that took a riff on Deida's renowned teachings on
sacred intimacy and we experienced them first hand.
I have heard so much about Deida lately (maybe I'm just the last one on my
block -- he's written ten bestselling books) and wandered into the seminar
to learn what all the hype is about. I came away from the evening
feeling a better sense of what it means to be
a woman, to be fully present
in my body and my femininity and how creating that presence and openness
makes me significantly more attractive and available to the right kind of
men.
I was impressed with this group of people. First of all, they
were definitely far healthier and more attractive than average -- very
centered in their bodies, physical and fit. An uncommon number of them
seem to be acrobats, contact improv dancers or yogis, and they exude a
confident, self-assured presence.
At first the room seemed to be filled with people younger than me, but
later I learned that most of the participants were in their mid-30s to
late 40s and simply looked a lot younger than their actual age. The
ages ranged up to a man in his 70s.
It was raining here in the Bay Area so I decided, hey, why not -- and made
the long drive south to the light, airy white loft in a run down block of
Oakland where WholeBody Wisdom has it's events. A girl named Jamie Love
with a sparkly heart painted on her cheek greeted me, and I deposited my
shoes in the heap at the door, and padded across the patchwork of thick
oriental rugs and sat on a cushion in the packed room.
As I arrived, the group was concluding the playshop where they were doing
acroyoga and
contact
improvisational dance exercises.
Then workshop leader Scott was moving into the Deida-inspired intimacy
sessions.
Scott said: "Remember a time when you weren't fully empowered." He's
sitting on a futon in front of the group, flanked by a thin, athletic man
in his early 40s and a beautiful younger woman with waist length blonde
hair who strokes his hand as he speaks and "holds space." She beams
radiantly as if just being in this man's presence is energizing for her,
though I have to wonder if it's just an ego trip for him to have the
loveliest girl in the room practically sitting in his lap as he lectures.
Scott has a confident, self-satisfied air about him, and a big enigmatic
cheshire grin. He's a big man with a powerful build and a shiny shaved
head. He reminds me of a New Age Mr. Clean, here to clean up our karma and
scrub our inhibitions away.
"The thing that we think is ugliest about us...when we share it, it's no
longer hidden, and that in turn makes us more attractive," Scott says. One
woman in the room says her weakness is rescuing drug addicted men who end
up living in her house and taking her money. An attractive silver-haired
elderly woman says her fear is that her body will never make love again.
In turn, we confess to strangers, our deepest weakness. When it is my
turn, I say: "My pattern is that I get in relationships with fixer upper
men -- and buy fixer upper houses." The room giggles nervously.
"A lot of us choose a relationship based on the question: "Do I feel
safe?" he says. "Choosing someone weaker than us makes us feel more
powerful, but it's a lie. We want to be in control so we hire someone not
as smart as us." Scott, who formerly was a management consultant in the
corporate world, and still exudes this confident executive power over a
room, says: "It takes a lot of confidence to hire experts who are smarter
than you in areas where you are weak. In love, and work, you want someone
with different skills, but more powerful."
Scott then confesses to us that he was picked on as a child, and very
self-conscious as a young man because he was bigger than everyone else. In
confessing this secret to us, he did become more human, more real, and in
turn, more attractive. (Perhaps this is why we like to learn the
relationship woes of celebrities and relish in the marital distress of
stars. It makes them more human, vulnerable and thus even more attractive
to us.)
Scott points out a sign on the wall: "Often others see us more clearly
than we see ourselves. Our deepest gift is often underneath our biggest
fear."
We then moved into an exercise where we were asked a question by a partner
and then in turn, had to answer the question first as if we were coming
from our head, then as if we were centered in our heart, and finally, as
if we were one big genital. "Come on, answer this one as if you're one big
dick or one big juicy yoni," Scott joked. The room roared with laughter
as we put our whole bodies into answering that question. My partner was a
thin, nervous guy who seemed forever stuck in his head, and I instantly
"got" how that when we respond to a sexual need with an intellectual
response we're not able to communicate effectively to our partners and
then just come across as wimpy and unattractive. (I found myself totally
turned off by his rigid, almost robotic responses.)
Later that night, we moved into the sacred chillspace -- which by the end
of the night had steamy windows and was starting to look more like a high
school dance, with couples making out in the shadowy corners of the room
on floor cushions. A beautiful man taught me how to do contact Salsa dance
(a variation on Contact Improvisation, which is depicted in the photograph
above.)
I've been opening myself and my heart more to intimate energetic
connection with others, and now that I am less self conscious and
defensive I'm surprisingly a much better dancer. I was able to feel my
partner's energy and sense what direction he wanted to lead me. Instead of
stepping all over his feet, I was flowing, utterly in the moment of
what we were doing. I suddenly understood why dance is the ultimate
seduction, and the best way to feel out a potential partner for
compatibility. Somewhere along the line we've become too intellectual and
too centered in our heads and thus unable to listen to our hearts. I
guess the WholeBody Wisdom Workshop was at it's core about learning how to
return to this kind of playful presence when we interact with each other.
The community playground that Scott creates promises the "opportunity to
be playfully serious and seriously playful, an expansion of your ability
to be open, loving and powerful in the face of real world challenges." I
think one could be cynical and say that's all just a bunch of West Coast
new age double speak, and there were a few newcomers to the event who
uncomfortably admitted they felt that way about it, but in the end, I'd
say his words just about sum it up. By the end of the night, I felt
more alive and present in my body than I have in a long time, and less
self conscious about my inadequacies.
Upcoming Events:
2009
January
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CONSCIOUS COMMUNITY
Dates subject to change
For more information, or to receive a notice about upcoming events (and
advance registration discounts) send
an email to:
Events@WholeBodyWisdom.com
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